by T.A. Sorenson
Where’s My Purse?
is a recounting of the 10-year journey through Alzheimer’s with my
mother. Even though this disease is challenging, I opted to approach
Mom’s circumstances from a positive angle - celebrating what was right
with her world, instead of what wasn’t. Let me explain.
Writing WMP
was to-date my most challenging undertaking, as well as the most
cathartic. My mom, JoAnn, had always been equal parts best friend,
anchor, parent, and confidant. But over the course of one year, I
observed this beautiful, active, light experience moments of simple
forgetfulness that quickly accelerated into a total shut down of her
memory process. I knew that two relatives on my mother’s side had been
diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when I was a child, but the notion of it
being genetically passed on was never entertained. Needless to say,
this new scenario was both heartbreaking and scary.
Diagnosis: Alzheimer’s disease. Now what?
Each
and every day millions of individuals are facing this exact situation
and have no idea what to do. My first instinct in the new role as
caregiver was to scour the Internet in search of information, but what I
really wanted was to hear directly from someone who had actually been
through it. There was no one in my world to speak to about the diagnosis
and jumping from one medical website to the next, left me with only one
takeaway - more confusion. Allowing frustration to take over, all I
kept thinking was “how on earth could this be happening to me?” And then
it hit me - it wasn’t.
Despite
my best efforts to deal with everything, I made plenty of mistakes, the
largest of which was feeling sorry for myself. My mom was diagnosed
with Alzheimer’s; it was never about me. From that “Aha” moment going
forward, my focus shifted solely toward Mom and my attitude on the
positive. Knowing the disease was never going away, my only mission was
to make my mother as happy and safe as I could, while celebrating each
day I had left with her. Individuals have questioned me, wondering how I
could possibly find a bright spot as it relates to Alzheimer’s disease.
What I will say is that of course I was sad. But at the end of the day,
my mind & abilities remained intact and thankfully still are. JoAnn
didn’t have that luxury, so spending time licking my wounds didn’t make
sense for me. Because I adopted that newfound positivity, I became a
much more effective caregiver and was better equipped to handle what was
to come.
Just
as each individual is unique, there is no one-size-fits-all with
Alzheimer’s albeit there are many common threads. Keeping that in mind,
Where’s My Purse? offers the reader 7 separate stories
written from varying perspectives. Each contributor bravely opens up to
share their personal story to help those seeking support and accessible
information. The feedback has been wonderful and the comment I receive
most often from my readers is that they feel like they’re sitting with
me having a private conversation and getting answers to their questions.
Mom was always there to help everyone and I can’t think of a better way
to honor her.
Join
me while I walk you through my very private journey with my loving
mother, JoAnn. I’m hopeful that by offering you a glimpse of my
experiences, as well as suggestions on how to exercise humor and grace,
it may help you to better cope with your loved one’s challenges. Perspective is everything and altering mine was just what the doctor ordered.
“You
will never experience personal growth, if you fear taking chances. And,
you will never become successful, if you operate without integrity.”
Writing
“Where’s My Purse” has been a challenging exercise, due to the
sensitive nature of the content. At times I have struggled with the
notion that some may perceive me as “insensitive,” which I am not.
Looking at select situations with a comedic eye helps ME cope, and
that’s how my mom would want it. I was raised in a home where laughter
was used as a defense mechanism, a vehicle for communication and our
pharmaceutical of choice. When we learned that Mom had Alzheimer’s, I
found myself drowning in a sea of self-pity, yet JoAnn was the one who
drew the short straw. In other words, I was making it about me. The only
obvious solution was to change MY perspective. Once that adjustment was
made, I became a highly effective advocate for her and found peace.
About the Author
T.A.
Sorensen resides in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, where she
works as a designer. After spending two years in Colorado and twelve
years in Toronto, Canada, they returned to be closer to her family in
her beautiful birthplace.
No comments:
Post a Comment