From the AlzAuthors Blog: Martin Schreiber and "My Two Elaines - Learning, Coping and Surviving as an Alzheimer's Caregiver"

By Martin J. Schreiber

If there’s one thing worse than Alzheimer’s, it’s ignorance of the disease.

Count me among those who were ignorant. Over the past decade, I’ve learned more about Alzheimer’s than I ever thought was possible. To be sure, I’m no expert on the science of the brain. But I know what Alzheimer’s did to my heart – it broke it when it struck my wife Elaine some 14 years ago.

I’m striking back against Alzheimer’s by speaking out, to wipe out some of that ignorance of the disease. My book, My Two Elaines: Learning, Coping, and Surviving as an Alzheimer’s Caregiver, came out in November 2016. Loved ones of those with dementia say it resonates with them. I’ve done more than 150 presentations in four states, with lots more coming up. I’m energized by these audiences.

Following a recent event in Wisconsin, a man who is a caregiver for his wife with dementia approached. He wanted to thank me for writing the book. 

“It turned my life around,” he told me, tears welling in his eyes – and soon in mine, too. “You saved me.”

It's Alzheimer's & Brain Awareness Month. Why Did I Write a Book About Alzheimer's?

From my early days as a nurse I’ve had a soft spot for dementia patients. Most people are unfamiliar with the day to day pain and loss this disease brings. Blue Hydrangeas, an Alzheimer’s love story is my attempt to tell the heartbreaking story of dementia, and to honor the more than 5.4 million Americans living with Alzheimer’s and the people who love and care for them.

One day at work as a nurse case manager in a rehabilitation unit, I met an elderly couple who inspired my characters Jack and Sara. She had Alzheimer’s, and he was physically frail. The amazing thing about them was that they’d driven from Florida to New York by themselves without any incident. Unfortunately, once home she fell and broke her pelvis and landed in the hospital. That’s where I came in, to assist with the discharge plan. She was supposed to go to a local nursing home for continued rehab and her son planned to drive her and her husband there on discharge day. I completed their plans and said goodbye, but couldn’t stop thinking about them, wondering what would happen if they somehow left the hospital without their son and did not go to the rehab. Where would they go? What would they do? My wild imagination took off, and the seeds for the novel took root.

The response from readers is both satisfying and humbling. When I published I had no idea if the book would find an audience, but within weeks I’d received several 5-star reviews from caregivers who thanked me for writing “their” story. A later reviewer called it “healing,” and another said it was “grief release.” A favorite comment is “Read it twice just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.” I could not have hoped for a better response.

As a nurse, I’m proud to help others dealing with this disease. As an author, I’m grateful this important topic found me, and that I had the determination and fortitude to bring this book to completion.

Knowing that I have not only touched lives but validated the experiences of these unsung heroes is one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.

Preview Blue Hydrangeas on Amazon

Valentine's Day Romance eBook Sale February 10th-14th

In honor of Valentine's Day, that special day celebrating all that's romantic, I've teamed up with fourteen romance authors  for an ebook sale. Choose from all kinds of new and not-so-new releases, from your favorite romance genres: time travel, historical, billionaire,  new adult, contemporary, and romantic suspense. Some are sweet, some are steamy, and some are just 99c, including Blue Hydrangeas, which was recently added to Kindle Unlimited.

 Sale runs February 10 through the 14th

AlzAuthors: Karen Malena, Love Woven in Time

by Karen Malena
 

Love in the senior years: A true inspiration to me. My parents are married over sixty years as of this writing. Sixty years of ups and downs, good health and bad, happiness and sadness. But one thing remains: a steadfast love. It is this love that inspired me to write; theirs, and another couple: my husband’s elderly aunt and uncle.

You see, when I was a little girl, my mother suffered from mental illness. There were times in her delusion when she barely knew who she was, much like Alzheimer’s. It wasn’t easy and she was hospitalized many times. That is why her recent diagnosis of dementia has been very difficult to take. But as I saw when I was a child, my father puts all of my mother’s needs first. At complete disregard for his own comfort, he would do anything for Mom. He’s remained by her side, loyal, loving, respectful, treating her as if she’s the young beauty he first married so long ago.

I saw another great love. Louise, my husband’s aunt, had a stroke several years back and was hospitalized and eventually moved into a nursing home. Her husband, Hubert, took the time every single day driving to see her, helping her to eat, talking with her even though she couldn’t speak well, and making sure every need of hers was met. There came a time he couldn’t drive any longer, and he would wait as the senior bus picked him up, not missing one day with his wife. When he suffered his own health crisis, he ended up in the same care facility. Though they weren’t in the same room, Uncle Hubert would wheel himself down the hall to spend time with his beloved each and every day.

Hubert and Louise didn’t have many family members, so I became a regular visitor of theirs. I watched as love appeared to grow even stronger as Hubert sat by his wife’s side, gazing upon her as if she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and talking to her as if she was the only person in the world who mattered.

It was then that a story began forming in my mind. What if an older couple actually met for the first time in an assisted living center? What if a warm friendship was forged, and eventually led to love? My book Love Woven in Time was born.

It chronicles the lives of Harry and Rose, two people who meet in the golden years, both with their own sets of challenges, but the main one being Harry’s onset of dementia. It was carefully written with the help of a dementia coach and author, Carol Howell, and with thoughts of my parents and my husband’s uncle and aunt, giving a story that is tender, believable, and written from the heart.

Though Hubert and Louise have passed, I am blessed to still have my parents. I continue to watch, grow, and learn from them about true love. A bond that cannot be broken. Even with the ravages of time, age, and memory loss.

Connect with Karen Malena

 

Website
Blog

Twitter
Amazon  

Goodreads 

Facebook 

AlzAuthors: Blogger Jane Gayer's Dementia City

by Jane Gayer

It doesn’t matter where we live, what religion we are, how much or how little we have, what language we speak or the color of our skin. Throughout the world, Alzheimer’s is the same monster and we are all just trying to figure out how to deal with it.

You couldn’t write a script with a more compelling storyline of love, laughter, sorrow and loss than what’s being lived right now by Alzheimer’s families around the globe.

This is our family's story, simple and real.

My name is Jane, and Joe, my husband of 35 years, was diagnosed with Dementia/Alzheimer’s about two and a half years ago.

I wouldn’t call myself a writer. In fact, I’m dyslexic, which makes writing an interesting challenge. My career was in business management. That fed my purse, but to feed my soul, I was an abstract artist, designer, and an actor and director in Community Theater.

I can find humor in most things. To me, life is a comedy and is better set to music than tears. But, I also know that sometimes life can be a dark comedy filled with pain and loss. Someone said to me once, “Don’t you ever take anything seriously?” The answer, “Not if I can help it.”

I decided to personify my husband’s disease and call at “Al” and think of him as our “uninvited guest”, the hanger-on, the guy who doesn’t know when to go home. So Al is a metaphor, an image, a symbol of what we must live with and struggle through every day.

I wasn’t sure writing a blog was the right thing to do, that it might somehow become an

embarrassment or humiliation for Joe and for our family. I didn’t know how people would react to so much openness about our struggles; would they think I was trying to garner sympathy or just indulging in our troubles? Would writing about my life provide psychological relief, or would it make things worse?

I have always been able to see the humor in life’s experiences (good or bad) and laugh about them. But Alzheimer’s is serious business. Would I offend readers by making light of all the craziness that comes with it?

I decided I would have to focus on my own experiences with this disease, to speak solely from the point of view of a caregiver. I would never be able to feel what Joe was feeling much less capture it in print. 

I’ve often questioned what I write, fearing I might be in denial or becoming paranoid. Are things really the way I think they are? (This disease can often play tricks on the caregiver.)

With that said, here I am, with 44 posts hanging out there in the vastness of cyberspace. So I asked myself, “Would I do it again?”

The answer is simply, “Yes.”

This little blog is now read in over 25 countries. It truly is “Al” over the world. The responses from readers have been heart-warming and serve as a lifeline for me.

So welcome to our world.

Visit Jane's blog Dementia City.

AlzAuthors: Secrets, Stigma, Silence, Reticence

June is Alzheimer's and Brain Awareness Month. Once again I am teamed with AlzAuthors to help raise awareness of this disease. More than five million Americans are living with Alzheimer's and all of them have loved ones and caregivers also affected. It's the sixth leading cause of death in the United States. Every 66 seconds someone develops it. Yet as a society we have difficulty talking about it. Sometimes fear stops the conversation, Sometimes shame. Sometimes grief. AlzAuthors exists to start a conversation about the experiences of those living with dementia. To provide caregivers with knowledge, support, and an outlet to express their own stories. Here we each discuss how secrets, stigma, silence, and/or reticence have affected our own experiences.

Secrets, by Jean Lee

If you have not been a caregiver–if you’re not living with the disease, you may not understand the concept of secrets when dealing with Alzheimer’s. If I had been an observer I would have thought, why would anyone keep a diagnosis a secret?

But, I was not an observer. Alzheimer’s invaded and took over my parents’ lives as well as my own when they were both diagnosed on the same day. I was working full time as an elementary teacher, living in the same small town in which I’d grown up, when I assumed the primary caregiving, decision-making role with my 86-year-old parents. They were small business owners, my father still drove, and they lived independently in their own home.

On the day of their diagnosis my dad struggled to his feet shouting, “How dare you use the A. word with me.” as Mom wagged her finger at the doctor scolding, “Shame on you.”

We came home from that appointment and conversation about the diagnosis stopped, unless I brought it up. They denied, saying they didn’t want anyone to know, to think they were crazy, or start gossip.

To respect the parents who had given me everything, I propped them up, protected them and their dignity, while I felt immense guilt whittling everything away piece by piece: their independence, their driving, forcing my dad to retire, moving them eventually to a locked memory unit.

I did not write, Alzheimer’s Daughter, to come clean, be honest, or tell secrets. Through the journey Isought support by reading about personal experiences. Each time I found a similar situation, I thought, If this person survived, so will I. Keep breathing. One week after my mother’s death, when I realized my father had no memory of her or their 66-year marriage, my secrets could no longer be contained, so I wrote the book I needed to read all along. Reviewers say it is written with wincing honesty about the cruel affects of the disease, but a WWII love story held together by faith and family is contained within the pages.

I see a new openness about the disease, especially in those touched by early onset, through books like Greg O’Brien’s On Pluto, B.Smith and Dad Gasby’s Before I Forget as well as Kimberly Williams Paisley’s Where the Light Gets In. When each of us tell our stories and combine our voices, we form a large pool of collaborators offering resources, support, understanding, and empathy.

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Stigma, by Marianne Sciucco

New Release Spotlight: "My Last Love Story"

 
Today's New Release spotlight is the fourth novel from bestselling author Falguni Kothari. Enter to win a copy at the end of the post.

Perfect for fans of Jojo Moyes’s, Me Before You, My Last Love Story is a heartbreaking romantic tale about the complexities of trauma and whether love can right a wrong.

I, Simeen Desai, am tired of making lemonade with the lemons life has handed me.

Love is meant to heal wounds.
Love was meant to make my world sparkle and spin.
Love has ripped my life apart and shattered my soul.

I love my husband, and he loves me.
But Nirvaan is dying.
I love my husband. I want to make him happy.
But he is asking for the impossible.

I don’t want a baby.
I don’t want to make nice with Zayaan.
I don’t want another chance at another love story.



 
Book Links: Goodreads * Amazon US * Amazon IN

Advance Praise:

At once heartbreaking, delightful and completely unexpected. A must read! ~ Sonali Dev, author of The Bollywood Affair

In My Last Love Story, Kothari examines love and loss, desire and desolation, with a deft, wry touch that kept me reading late into the night and moved me to tears. ~ Julia Tagan, author of Stages of Desire

About the Author:

Falguni Kothari is an internationally bestselling hybrid author and an amateur Latin and Ballroom dance silver medalist with a background in Indian Classical dance. She writes in a variety of genres sewn together by the colorful threads of her South Asian heritage and expat experiences. When not writing or dancing, she fools around on all manner of social media, and loves to connect with her readers. My Last Love Story is her fourth novel.

Contact the Author:
Website * Blog * Twitter * Facebook * Goodreads * Pinterest

Giveaway Details: One copy of My Last Love Story by Falguni Kothari in paperback for US or Indian Resident winner; eBook for other international winner.

Enter now!

New Release Spotlight: By the Stars, Historical Romance by Lindsay Ferguson

When Cal finally gets a chance with Kate, the girl he's loved since grade school, their easy friendship quickly blossoms into a meaningful romance. Spirited and independent, Kate keeps a guarded heart due to a painful past, and Cal wants nothing more than to gain her trust. But World War II soon cuts their time far too short, and Cal prepares to part from her - possibly for good. After he's gone, what Kate does next changes everything. In the suffocating jungles of the Philippines Cal encounters the chilling life of a soldier and deadly battles of war. With Kate's memory willing him on, Cal must put his trust in God to survive if he hopes to ever return to her. Inspired by a true story, By the Stars is a romance that stands the test of time and the most intense obstacles.

 

Excerpt

A few moments passed and it soon felt like they were the only two people in the room. Completely engaged in her, he had no idea what she was actually saying or how much longer their lingering gaze would continue, but he knew he wasn’t going to be the one to look away. He no longer cared that the room was hot. He was oblivious to that now. He no longer cared what others might think. He was lost. Lost in those deep brown, beautiful eyes.

Then suddenly, as clear as day, Cal heard a voice inside his head speak to him. That is the girl you are going to marry.

Cal’s head jerked to the side in a quick, surprised response.

Marry? Kate Clayton? Why on earth would he think that? He was with Marlene. She was the girl he was going to marry. It only made sense.

He dropped his eyes to the floor and began mulling over the words that had entered his mind. An uncomfortable tightness began forming in his throat, and he started to remember just how darn hot it was in that building.

After a moment he slowly raised his head back up and glanced over to the girl at his side and then ahead to the girl standing in front of the crowd. A strange feeling was beginning to settle over him.

Why didn’t that thought enter his mind when he looked at Marlene? And more importantly, why, when the voice spoke those words to him, had it not sounded like his own?

By the Stars links:

Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Deseret Books
Goodreads

About the Author

Lindsay Ferguson worked as a PR and marketing writer for a computersoftware company for several years before resigning to focus on raising her family. When she felt the itch to attempt novel writing a fascination with history created a natural inclination toward historical fiction, with a romantic flare, of course. She lives in a suburb of Salt Lake City with her husband and four children. By the Stars is her first novel. Visit her online at www.lindsaybferguson.com. 

The Love Sweet Love Giveaway! 12 Romantic eBooks for Lovers Who Love to Read

Enter here!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

eBooks included in the Love Sweet Love! Giveaway

The Land Uncharted by Keely Brooke Keith

Finding Beth by Linnette R. Mullin 
Falling for Alaska by Shannon L. Brown
God's Daughter by Heather Day Gilbert

Unraveled by Heidi McCahan
Finding Peace by Melaine D. Snitker

Reverie by Christina Yother
Chain of Mercy by Brenda S. Anderson

Blue Hydrangeas by Marianne Sciucco
Her Imaginary Husband by Lia London 
Uncharted Redemption by Keely Brooke Keith
Reliance by Christina Yother

Official Sweepstakes Rules:
No purchase necessary to enter. Must be 18 years or older and a resident of the United States. Sweepstakes begins Feb. 8, 2016 and ends midnight CST Feb. 15, 2016. Odds of winning dependent upon the number of entries. Grand prize includes one ebook copy of each title listed here. Winner will be selected at random and notified by email. Once winner notification email is sent, winner must reply within 7 days. Once winner confirms email address, the ebooks will be emailed to the winner’s email address. First name and last initial of winner will be announced, all other information will be kept private. Sweepstakes sponsored by the participating authors. Void where prohibited by law. 

New Release Spotlight: Seaside Christmas by Stacy Claflin - Clean Romance

I became a fan of Stacy Claflin after reading Seaside Surprises: A Sweet Romance (The Seaside Hunters Book 1). This is the start to a sweet romantic series that promises to entertain. I enjoyed the story of Tiffany and Jake, drawn to each other but not prepared to fall in love. Tiffany, on the run to escape a painful past, lands in Jake's hometown, and from the first moment there are sparks. Each has personal issues to overcome, and loving families that are either a source for the issues (Jake) or a solution (Tiffany.) I'm a sucker for a story set in a seaside town and this doesn't disappoint, and includes many of the details of life in a small vacation village. The story is well-paced, the characters interesting, and the climax suspenseful. I look forward to reading the rest of the series, starting with:

 He can’t stand her. She thinks he’s crazy. 
Will their feelings stay etched in permanent ink?

 

Cruz Hunter has always stuck out in his small hometown. Now that he’s covered in tattoos, the residents peg him as even more of an outcast. It seems like the whole world is against his dream of opening a local tattoo parlor.

When he finally finds the perfect place for his new business, Cruz discovers a pastor and his daughter have already bought it. The only thing more irritating than the change in his plan is Talia, a beautiful and feisty argument in a dress. Cruz would like nothing more than to have her out of his life and his mind, but for some reason, she’s the only thing he can think about.

If Cruz and Talia can stop arguing long enough, opposites may do much more than attract.

Excerpt

Cruz double-checked the house number and walked up the sidewalk and to their walkway. A street lamp turned on as he walked underneath. He’d gone over what he was going to say countless times. There weren’t any other buildings in town he could use for his tattoo shop—the city council had made it clear the only place he would be allowed to do business was the outskirts of town—so he needed to be convincing if he wanted to talk them out of the building.

His sense of humor and charm had always gotten him out of trouble growing up, so he needed to tap into that. So many times, all he’d had to do was tell a joke and laugh, and his teachers would just melt and let him get away with whatever trouble he’d created. It didn’t work quite as well now that he had facial hair and tattoos, but that wouldn’t stop him from trying.

Cruz walked up the steps to the porch and knocked on the door, avoiding a wreath. It smelled of pine, like it had been freshly made.

Noise sounded from inside, and then the door opened. The blonde chick from the day before—what was her name again?—stood before him, wearing another dress. It was bright yellow with a pattern of tropical flowers. Her hair was pulled back and a floral scent engulfed him—her perfume?

She smiled and stepped back. “Come on in, Cruz.”

And she remembered his name. He forced a smile and nodded a thanks, stepping inside. The house had bare furnishings and almost no decorations, spare a few holiday ones.

Blondie closed the door and then Cruz saw a pile of moving boxes. That’s right. They were new to town. “Nice place.”

“We’re still trying to figure out where everything is. You know how moving is.”

“Not really.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“But I imagine it’s a pain in the—uh, neck. I grew up in one house, and the only time I moved was when I went to college, and all I packed fit on my motorcycle.”

Her gorgeous blue-green eyes widened. “Really?”

“Don’t look so shocked. I went to UCLA. I graduated, even.”

“That’s not what surprised me. It was because you got everything on a motorcycle.”

He shrugged.

“Isn’t UCLA hard to get into? Less than ten percent get in, don’t they?”

Cruz looked away. “I didn’t really pay attention. Just wanted to hang out in LA for a while.”

“What brought you back here?”

“Sure wasn’t the town. My dad had some health problems and I wasn’t really gettin’ along with the guy I was working for, so I just packed up my bike and came back.”

“Is your dad okay?” Talia’s eyes widened. “Do you guys need anything?”

“No, he’s okay now. Takin’ care of himself and everything. My mom and all five of us brothers help out, too.”

“Oh, good. Well, if you do need something, you have our number.”

Cruz nodded and slid off his jacket. Her eyes widened as her gaze went over his heavily tattooed arms. He tried to tell if she was judging him or checking them out. It was hard to tell because her expression didn’t reveal anything. He’d been judged before by religious people, making wild assumptions based on his body art.

Cruz flexed both arms and then held out his jacket. “Someplace I can hang this?”

 ***

Seaside Christmas is now available on Amazon

Enter Stacy's Giveaway to win a $25 Amazon Gift Card orPaypal Cash

Follow the rest of the blog tour

About the Author

Stacy Claflin writes about complex women overcoming incredible odds. Whether it's her Gone trilogy of psychological thrillers, her ongoing Transformed paranormal saga, or her Seaside Hunters sweet romance series, Stacy's three-dimensional heroines shine through. Decades after she wrote her first stories on construction paper and years after typing on an inherited green screen computer that weighed half a ton, Stacy realized her dream of becoming a full-time author. When she's not busy writing or educating her kids from home, Stacy enjoys watching TV shows like Supernatural, Pretty Little Liars, and Once Upon a Time. Join Stacy's newsletter to get three free novels. Register here to get your books right away.

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