From the AlzAuthors Blog: Anticipatory Grief: Powerful Feelings for Alzheimer’s Caregivers

 By Harriet Hodgson

After my father died, my mother moved to Florida to be near her older sister. Two years later her sister died, and Mom felt lost without her. To fill her days, Mom went on a variety of trips, often with a friend. One day she called to tell me she was “out West.”

“What state are you in?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

What town are you in?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, where are you now?”

“I’m in a phone booth!” she replied in an angry voice. (Phone booths still existed then.)

Was my mother with a tour group? Did she have enough money? When would she be home? I didn’t have a chance to ask these questions because Mom blurted, “But I can’t talk to you now because the boat is going down the Colorado.” Then she hung up.

From the AlzAuthors Blog: S.R. Karfelt, author of Nobody Told Me - Love in the Time of Dementia

By S. R. Karfelt

Writing about memory loss wasn’t something I’d planned to do. I’m a fiction writer. But when my mother-in-law could no longer live on her own she moved in with me and my husband, her son.

That same husband and son had to go work in Asia soon after she arrived, leaving me alone with Gummy for a short but difficult while. His parting words were, “Do whatever it takes to survive it.”

What do writers do to survive? They write.

Even then I didn’t plan to write a book. I had my next fiction book lined up. My grand plan was to get Gummy settled, on medication, and used to her life here. Then I’d get back to writing. I’d blocked off a couple months to accomplish this.

Is it even possible to get someone used to losing their memory? I was so young and naïve last year. Gummy couldn’t remember where she was or why. She packed to go and asked questions non-stop until she’d drop from exhaustion, and later wake up panicked and deep into sundowning in the middle of the night.

At some point I wrote a desperate post on Facebook. The tsunami of support that came from others who were going through the same thing, or had, surprised me. It helped knowing I wasn’t alone. I continued writing about Gummy privately. Eventually I told my publisher the expected book wasn’t going to happen. I could barely take the time to go into the bathroom alone, let alone write.

       Saffi? Saffi? Where’d you go?

             I’m in the shower, Gummy! I’ll be right out!

       Hello? Is anybody here?

From the AlzAuthors Blog: Crissi Langwell and Come Here, Cupcake, a novel

By Crissi Langwell

The story of Come Here, Cupcake focuses on an aspiring baker, Morgan Truly, and the magical ability she’s discovered that allows her to infuse her baking with feelings. If she feels sad while baking, anyone who eats it will feel sad. If she feels happy, her baking will make people feel happy. And if she bakes while feeling romantic…well, you can guess what happens to anyone who tries it. This new ability, along with finding new love, is confusing enough. But adding to Morgan’s life changes is caring for her mother, Karen Truly, who is suffering from Alzheimer’s.Morgan moved back home to help care for her mom, unwilling to put her in any kind of care facility. She hired an aide to help with Karen’s care, but Morgan still found herself caring for her mom in ways she never had to worry about before. At one point, Karen shatters a glass on the floor in anger, endangering her bare feet. In another scene, she tries to burn the house down. Later, she runs away.The theme of Alzheimer’s has found its way into more of my books than just this one. In my book, The Road to Hope, one of the main characters is suffering from the early stages of Alzheimer’s, experiencing bouts of forgetfulness. In the sequel book, Hope at the Crossroads, this character’s Alzheimer’s has advanced rapidly, and she is unable to remember anyone. In Come Here, Cupcake, Karen doesn’t recognize her own daughter, mistaking Morgan for a variety of different roles.

When certain themes show up in my writing, it’s usually because I’m working them out in my real life. Alzheimer’s is no exception. My grandmother had Alzheimer’s before she passed away in 2010. I remember the last time I saw her. She’d kept her eyes closed most of the visit, almost as if she were ignoring all of us. When my aunt announced who was there, she opened her eyes when she heard my name.

The Clean Indie Reads 12 Days of Christmas Book Event!

Kicking back with that new Kindle? Got some Amazon gift cards to cash in? The Clean Indie Reads 12 Days of Fiction Book Event has just what you need: 40 titles - multiple genres - sure to keep you reading through the winter. All books are discounted, some are FREE. The theme is family drama because, hey, we've all got some, especially through the holidays. Choose from romance, mystery, YA, paranormal, fantasy, historical fiction, and more. And you can count on our assurance that all titles are flinch-free, meaning free of overt sexuality, graphic violence, and questionable language. Please check all prices before hitting the buy button. It's the individual author's responsibility to confirm her discounts with Amazon and other sellers. This blog and Amazon are not responsible for prices. Don't delay! Sale runs from December 26 through January 6. 

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Ino's Love, a short story, by Marianne Sciucco, FREE via Instafreebie

Sometimes the people who love us best are not family.

Elderly Ino prepares a delicious Italian Christmas feast for her successful CEO son, but when he's too busy to spend the holiday with his mother she shares her dinner and gifts with her home health aid. A heartwarming story about giving and forgiveness.

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From the AlzAuthors Blog: Wendy Mitchell Writes about Living With Young Onset Dementia

by Wendy Mitchell

Imagine yourself being given a diagnosis of Young Onset Dementia. Your life falls apart, you feel worthless, and of no use to anyone any more. Services are nonexistent, so you feel abandoned.

That’s what happened to me in July 2014, when I was diagnosed with young onset dementia at the age of 58, and still working full-time in the NHS. I retired at the age of 59, due to ill health, thinking there was no alternative. Then I sat waiting for services to kick in, but, of course, nothing happened. There were no services.

I could have given up and gone into a deep state of depression, but I knew there must be more. We all had talents before a diagnosis of dementia; we don’t suddenly lose all those talents overnight when we get a diagnosis.

New Release Spotlight and Giveaway: Summer's Squall by Amy Schissler

Do you like winter? A lot of people don’t, like me, who perseveres through it longing for beach days and hours spent by the pool. Fortunately, summer is coming. Yes, it’s about seven months away, but we can still celebrate it. And today, Amy Schliser is on the blog telling us all about her new book, Summer’s Squall.

From the AlzAuthors Blog: Don Wendorf, and Caregiver Carols - A Musical, Emotional Memoir

By Don Wendorf

I wrote CAREGIVER CAROLS: A Musical, Emotional Memoir to cope with my own emotional struggles as a caregiver for my late wife Susan with her strokes and vascular dementia, and to help other caregivers deal with their feelings. I wanted them to see that their emotions, while often complex, intense, or unpleasant were normal; to know they were not alone; to encourage them to ask for even more help than they thought they needed; and to suggest very practical things for them to try to manage their feelings better. I told my/our story and shared a wide range of my experiences and emotions, including some of the hardest and least discussed, particularly anger, guilt, shame, sexuality (gasp), and grief. One selection even talks about my wishing she might die, which she actually prayed to do. I don’t imagine I’m the only one who ever fantasized about that. Despite being a psychotherapist myself and “knowing all about this,” I got massive burnout and I didn’t want anyone else to go through that.

I wrote the book in a combination of regular prose and song lyrics/rhyming verse to make these difficult, scary, often painful reflections or topics more easily absorbed, processed, retained, recalled and used. I hoped the humorous, artistic, metaphorical, creative, entertaining format would help people deal with their own “stuff,” but I also found that the creative, expressive arts may be as helpful to caregivers as they have been increasingly found to be with persons living with dementia.